Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize