And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
