There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
