Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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