god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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