i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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