me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
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In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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