dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
