You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
