I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
