Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
