So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
