you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
