omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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