Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you traded sex for a burrito?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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