i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found the puke drawer
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
