Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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