awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
