You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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