Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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