brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
