i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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