glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
