awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize