Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
