In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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