Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We got so high we made milksteak
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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