I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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