Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
