so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
