it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
