ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
