i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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