Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
