Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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