It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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