thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
