Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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