ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize