Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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