i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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