Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
