so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
