i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed