He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?