I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
