Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
