can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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