Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
