mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
