Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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