I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
