what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
