Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
