why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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