I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
