My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
