I think scott just propositioned me for sex
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My dick has a subreddit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
