You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize