Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
