We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
