i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
