I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
