It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
