I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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